I hit a parked car.

At work, there was a bloody tampon in one of the toilets today. I flushed it down. then laughed.

On Sunday, a couple of fellow employees told me I had to go into theatre numero uno. The Aviator is playing in that one. I walked in and there was a pair of grannie panties and one brown sock, just laying there next to the aisle. I put my hands over my mouth and repeated the words "HOLY SHIT" about 4 times. It was fantastic. It totally made my day. Mack and Andrea speculated what the sock was for, Mack said someone pooped in it and Andrea said it was "a make-shift condom." Gnar.

http://www.subservientstickman.com/

make the helicopter
rap
have a baby
hit up
be a cheerleader

james: remember when i used to carry $400 with me all the time?
james: now i have $4
*i count my stack (you know i'm balla in control (not outta, that's ignorant))*
james: what are you going to do with all that money?
james: buy a hooker?
me: yeah i should
james: you should a....ya know....share the wealth
james: what can i get for $4?
me: maybe i will shoot it in your face instead of hers

everything.